My Life Journey With This Faith - Michelle's Experience

Michelle H.

My life journey with this faith and practice began before my birth with my mother. She is a practicing member and therefore, I was fortunate to be born (a fortune baby) into Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism. 

As a child, I did not fully understand how significant this was and the impact this would have on my life. Early on, I sat next to my mother and I learned Gongyo (recitation of morning and evening prayers) and how to chant Daimoku (repeating Nam Myoho Renge Kyo). I attended meetings and activities at the Temple. As I reached my teenage years, I continued with my faith and practice. However, as I grew up and had other priorities like hanging out with friends and being busy with school activities, I only practiced when I could. However, I knew that it should be done every day. I knew this because I had the daily reminders from my mother. Being a teenager, I did not understand the impact of not doing daily morning and evening Gongyo and Shodai (chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo for an extended time) would have on my life. 

I managed to make it through high school. I was in advanced academic courses and did well. I did not have any extreme struggles with any courses or tests and was able to get through the typical cram sessions and get my assignments in on time. I competed in track and field. I was well liked and did not have any issues with bullying. I graduated and headed off to college, even after only applying to one college.

Now my transition to a young adult and college was another story. During this time, I had different plans for myself and listening to the sage advice that my mother had, took a back seat because… I knew better. Hanging out with friends, wanting to be an “adult,”  move out on my own, and not having the right focus led me on a path of obstacles. When I moved out, I thought I could handle it all...work, school, friends. The most significant thing—my Buddhist practice—was not on my list. I did not receive and enshrine the Gohonzon (Object of Worship)  in my apartment. My college courses became a struggle, which led to academic probation. Eventually, I ended up taking an extended leave from school. At this point, the hopes for obtaining my four year degree did not seem possible. I had no clue what career I wanted to pursue but, I knew that I could not keep on an aimless path. Therefore, I had to move back home and that was a hard pill to swallow. I felt like a failure and I never once looked at my lack of consistent practice as a factor for my struggles. 

After returning to my mother’s home, I made it a point to focus on my Buddhist practice. I began doing morning and evening Gongyo and making my way to the Temple on a regular basis. I finally buckled down and resumed my education at a junior college. This lead me to finally figuring out my career path. I was taking courses in both Film and Administration of Justice. I was excited about both but, eventually leaned toward a more practical and stable career path in Administration of Justice. Once I had a plan, I focused my energy on getting into a career and working for a police agency. I completed job applications for anything that had the word police in the title. 

“ I was only thinking about making sure I did everything I needed to do to get through the intense training program and secure the job. This included chanting lots of Daimoku. ”

I continued doing Gongyo and Shodai consistently. I was fortunate to apply for, test, and get hired with the City of Los Angeles as a 9-1-1 dispatcher at the age of 24. The pay was excellent for my age and no college degree. I had health, vacation, sick leave, retirement benefits. There were many dispatchers that gave me advice about my career, retirement, and supplemental disability insurance for example. This was so foreign since I was only in my twenties. I was only thinking about making sure I did everything I needed to do to get through the intense training program and secure the job. This included chanting lots of Daimoku. 

I enjoyed my job but, I could not see myself retiring as a dispatcher. I continued taking classes and applied to become a police officer with multiple agencies but, was never picked up. I continued to work for the City of Los Angeles. During this time, I received my Bachelor of Science degree in Criminal Justice. Eventually, I transitioned into my current career in fingerprints and crime scene investigation – think CSI and I am fortunate to be in a career that I enjoy.

When I hit my 30s, I had to confront a major health challenge. One day I was healthy, then suddenly  went on a drastic health decline. I lost a significant amount of weight, had extreme fatigue, muscle and joint pain, major hair loss, did not have the strength to stand for any length of time, no appetite, and blood tests showed there were other issues. I felt hopeless, discouraged, and scared. I could not sit in front of my Gohonzon to do Gongyo or chant. I had to do morning and evening Gongyo from my bed and could only chant Daimoku for short periods of time. I was eventually hospitalized for nearly two weeks, went through several more tests and procedures. After all the testing and procedures, I was diagnosed with Lupus which is an autoimmune disease where your immune system attacks your organs, joints, etc. There is no cure and you can only manage the symptoms.

“ All I knew is that I had to chant sincerely to get physically stronger and find a way through my financial uncertainty. ”

Once I had the diagnosis, it was game on. I asked my doctors what I needed to do so, I could get a plan of attack. I knew this would include a lot of chanting. What made this even more frightening is financial uncertainty. I knew I would not be returning to work for awhile and I just had purchased my first condo and had my mom move in with me. All I knew is that I had to chant sincerely to get physically stronger and find a way through my financial uncertainty. Eventually, I was able to get stronger, my health stabilized, I made it through without sustaining a financial hardship, and I was able to return to work after one year. 

I always knew that I needed to strengthen my faith and practice and more importantly, do shakubuku (introducing others to Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism).  After making this determination, my life changed in a way that I was not expecting. I became reacquainted with a friend from elementary school. As we continued to spend time together. I was able to introduce him to Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism, Gongyo, and Shodai, and he began to practice with me. Now this was a first. I have never been secretive about my faith but, I have never had a boyfriend chant with me. Not only did he start chanting, he received Gojukai (Acceptance Ceremony) and the Gohonzon. 

I know that without my faith in Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism, I would not have been able to face the challenges with my illness, have the kind of support from friends and loved ones that I have, and strive forward with the kind of positive approach and outlook that I need to make it through each day. For those that are not familiar with Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism, you may think that these are just life experiences. Believe me…..it is so much more. Faith in Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism gives you the strength to face challenges in unexpected ways and once you try chanting and experience this Buddhism, you will have a better understanding. I encourage you to try it for yourself.